Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
