You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
