We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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