I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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