ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
