Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
