we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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