I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
