I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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