check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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