Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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