I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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