her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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