The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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