Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
