well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
