I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
