why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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