Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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