Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
