i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
