He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
