I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
