i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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