On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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