Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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