i would punch a child for taco bell
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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