We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
