Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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