Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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