u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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