my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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