That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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