ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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