Small penises have feelings too.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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