I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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