Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
