the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
