I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Quick, to the slutcave!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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