physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
