So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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