I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize