So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
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The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
why is half of my head shaved?
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