I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.