you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.