I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.