Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The Olympian is in my bed