I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
