I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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