We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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