i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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