I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
