I wish i was in the wii world.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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