you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize