You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I deserve this hangover.
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