Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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