Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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