Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
