he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
